Saturday, Nov. 22, 2003

Debate

The whole day today seemed quite dark and cold (actually, not really just in the late afternoon), but I guess maybe it was the rain.

Chatted with Kok Yong on the phone yesterday night. Called to ask him out today, cuz the whole week of staying at home doing Hari Raya chores is boring me and driving me nuts. Wanted to watch a movie, somewhere around our neighbourhood or just hang out. But dang it, so hard to make decisions with him. Almost didn't get to go out.

The phone conversation escalated to become another nagging session (from him, but in his own words, advising). Buddy, I appreciate your good intentions and that you're being nice and looking out for me and worried about my luckless job situation, but then again, sometimes, I really don't like to talk about it. I'm not trying to defer the situation, but in the first place it's never escaped my mind, so sometimes I prefer to think about other happier stuff, although I'm still trying my best.

But anyway, still, thanks for your advice. And I also hope that you're doing fine in your job too and good things will come to you and that your company will indeed give you a raise and make you a permanent employee there soon. 1 month left man. After all your sacrifices and hard work for this past 5 mths, I think you deserve it, but then again, if it turns out negatively, well, it's their loss, you just have to move on and find something better I guess. But for now, take it easy.

My mother gave me some money to do my Hari Raya shopping. Honestly, I wasn't intending to have any new clothes this time around, cuz I already have a few new ones bought for me for my B'day and I'm happy with just the new Baju Kurungs. But my mother insisted, so arranged this morning with Kok Yong to accompany me shopping. Oh well, shopping's not my favourite activity but at least, got to get out of the house for awhile.

Met Kok Yong at Jurong Point while it was raining. Havn't been to that shopping centre for ages. Used to always drop by there when I booked out from School of Infantry Weapons back during my NS days. Nothing much has changed, still freaking crowded, messy with the same old shops.

Got myself a new pair of jeans and a new belt from Giordano. Pretty cheap, both of them, since Giordano is on sale (but then again, it's forever on sale). Scaled the four floors of the shopping mall, before accompanying Kok Yong for a light snack at Mos Burger and checking out CDs at Sembawang Music Centre.

Guess what, I had to make a choice between a few CDs. Still had some money to spare, so I decided to buy an album. Was choosing between Kylie's latest CD, Body Language, Pink's Try This, Clay Aiken's Measure of a Man and Justin Timberlake's Justified. In the end, I actually bought Justin's CD, cuz I've been putting this CD on hold for so long, so finally I got my hands on it. Not really a fan of the person, but I think his songs are good.

On the way home on the bus, had some fun debate with Kok Yong regarding the internet and forming friendships over the net. I don't know how come we got to a debate, but I guess we were talking about Friendster and all. He's apparently not a believer and prefers to listen to the experts about the negativity of online friendships and that to him it's a waste of time and there's no such thing as genuine online friends. However, I begged to differ cuz, ever since early this year, I have made a lot of genuine online friends from all over the world, from the US, to UAE to Hong Kong and the Philippines all due to my participation and involvement in some online Survivor games.

Yes, some of you might have known this already, but this is my new hobby, playing and hosting Survivor online games. It's a long story actually. I got bored with stuff on the net (and life in general) and was just checking out Survivor stuff when I stumbled on some websites where people were actually playing online Survivor games. They had their own message boards and they competed in tribes, voted people off, interacted with each other and everything that goes with playing a Survivor game.

As you know, I'm a Survivor fanatic so I signed up for a game, just to see how it is, and ever since then I was hooked. I even made a name online and some websites as a winner in a major online Survivor game. But my point is, ever since I got myself hooked in these games, I did make a lot of good online friends, genuine ones at that. Yeah I know there are all these warnings about people posing as somone they're not, but seriously those can only be found in chatrooms like IRC, where most of the time people are there solely to find their next victim (or to find someone to hook up). But in online communities, and messageboards, the chances of people being genuine behind their nicks/screen names are more often the case.

Even though I still go on ICQ occasionally, my main online messaging service nowadays is AIM/AOL. It's more user-friendly, uses up less space on my hard disk and besides, the online Survivor fan friends from North America and the rest of the world that I have are all using AIM. Granted, how far these friendships will go I can never tell, but still it's just a way of me expanding my contacts and widening my circle of friends. You can call me a loser, if you want to, but I know I'm far from it.

Speaking of my new hobby, in case you don't know, the Website under my Current Favourites List above is the website/message board where I'm hosting my own online Survivor game. To find out more and check out my creations and what I have been doing all this while as a hobby, here's the website address, Survivor: Top Secret 2 - Survivor Gen X-ers: Yakushima . Yes that's the website/message board that I manage/own/host.

Anyways, yeah, forming internet friendships was the topic of debate for me and Kok Yong before he had to alight. Seriously, everyone should just try to be adventurous, be open to such stuff and not stay in a rut all the time. It's a whole new world out there for you. I can say that besides gaining new online friends, I have actually become very internet-savvy and computer-savvy in the past few months from all this gaming. That's a positive point if you ask me.

Speaking of Survivor, it seems awhile since I've written updates about the show, Survivor. Currently showing its 7th season, Survivor: Pearl Islands is almost better than ever. I absolutely love this cast and this edition so far.

But I was quite upset yesterday, the bloody bastards had a mutiny to overthrow Rupert Boneham, arguably this season's most popular castaway. It's at Final 8, and I guess because of Rupert's obvious alliance and closeness to Sandra and Christa (my other two favourites this season), the other asswipes decided to "play the game" and boot him out.

Oh well, yesterday's episode, even though quite predictable, it was obvious that the editors were milking as much sympathy and emotions from the viewers, cuz they know how much everyone adores Rupert. It was so sad to see him go. The whole episode I was hoping that their mutiny plan would backfire and even to the the point where Jeff Probst was reading the votes, I was hoping that it's one of the bastards to go, but alas it was not meant to be.

Never mind, Rupert, everyone knows you deserve to win the whole freaking game and oh well, at least you're the only one from Pearl Islands that is playing in All-Star Survivor this coming January against other Survivor winners and alumni, like my all-time favourite Survivors Kathy O'Brien from Marquesas, Rob Cesternino from Amazon. I look forward to you shining in that mega edition and winning the whole damn thing.

Rupert, resembling Hagrid from Harry Potter, or Peter Jackson, director of The Lord of The Rings trilogy, we should not judge a book by its cover.

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Okay, last photo for this update, I just have to slot this in. Another classic photo I took with my polymates. I can't remember why the girls were wearing Baju Kurung, but we took this with our famous Dragon Lady, Ida Nuryati. Wonder what has happened to her. I think we took a few shots, but I like this shot the most. Everyone looked so candid (especially the two clowns, Mona and Jason, if I remember correctly, they were tickling each other and trying to make each other look bad on camera, lol). Pity Mona was blocked from this shot.

We took this at the TV studio. Ok guys, inside joke. I wonder whether my nose was blocked that day, but with our Dragon Lady posing and leaning on me like that, hmm, let's let our imagination (or sense of humour) run wild, haha.

From left, Mona (hidden), Jason, Ida Nuryati (aka Dragon Lady), me, Kok Yong and Sha (looking flamboyant as ever, haha).

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Ok, Hari Raya song for the day. Another absolute favourite of mine. A duet by another favourite singer of mine, Ziana Zain with Awie. Here's...

HALAMAN ASMARA by ZIANA ZAIN & AWIE

Setahun aku lalui / Detik lamakan kembali / Pelita kunyalakan / Di halaman asmara ini

Seringkali kurenungi / Kenangan mencuit hati / Sedar tak sedar detik itu kembali / Dan kita ulangi

Cinta di bawah cahaya / Mekarnya seribu warna / Menerangi indah / Halaman asmara / Kita berdua

Kau melafazkan kerinduan / Kusambut keriangan / Dan terungkaplah impian di hari mulia

Tercurah kasih dan sayang / menyambut Syawal menjelang / Hatiku gembira bertemu saudara / Bersama kasih yang kucinta

posted at 10:59 p.m.

Friday, Nov. 21, 2003

Familiar

Just came back from a haircut and got my hair straightened. The last time I got it straightened was before the July Bintan trip. Oh well, Hari Raya is coming up, so have to keep it manageable and presentable. And besides, it was getting too long and I was feeling uncomfortable with it.

Had a long phonechat with Liping yesterday night (which was morning for her over at New Jersey). Felt great and nice talking to her since she migrated and got married in US. She called me using her calling card and we talked for slightly more than 3 hours from 11pm to around 2 am plus.

Babe, thanks for calling me, it feels good to hear your familiar voice again, at least this time around wasn't talking to you online, on either AIM or MSN. And just remember anytime you need someone familiar from Singapore to talk to (and I mean, thru the phone), you can give me a ring anytime okay.

We shared with each other lots of stuff and updated each other about our recent whereabouts. At least I know someone out there can really relate to what I'm going through right now, although I think she has more on her plate. Just take care of yourself over there girl, and please, be more adventurous, NJ, I understand is totally different from Singapore, but that shouldn't stop you from exploring.

I look forward to the day when, we Ityles/SIM gang, can have a reunion, be it in Singapore, at NJ, or even some other country. Hmm, maybe I can visit you over there with the gang, but have to really save a lot of money for that. It's just a matter of time before you will really settle down and be a gung-ho confident girl that you are, and hope you don't have any problems with your work permit and green card next year. Things can only get better, and I'm sure you'll be strong enough for that. I'm sure David will be a good husband and take care of you too.

Sigh, talking to you reminded me of the previous New Year's Eve. Had a blast just crossing over to Johore Bahru via the causeway just to get away from Singapore, and watch the American version of The Ring, with dinner at the food stalls nearby, just the two of us. I remember my contact lens was giving me problems, and I had to take it off in the middle of the street. Also we sat at the immigration centre and causeway and just chatted about stuff and problems that we had back then, while everyone else was counting down to Year 2003. Stayed till dawn before crossing over back to Singapore. Lol, the thrill, just to have a different New Year's Eve.

Sigh, I have no idea who I'm gonna spend my New Year's Eve this year with. Since you're so many many miles away, not sure if I have anyone else to escape away from Singapore that night, even for a mere few hours. Well, I guess I shall just spend New Year's Eve alone, if noone is available and free for me.

Well, on the bright side, at least the year is coming to an end soon. I just wanna get this year, which has been really dry and unlucky for me, over and done with.

Anyway, on to more cheery stuff. Had the approval from Liping to share the photos of her recent wedding in September. Congratulations, to our newly wed couple, Mr and Mrs David Larabee.

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Liping and David before the ceremony. Our lady looking radiant and so happy in her red gown.

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Liping and David exchanging vows.

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Liping and hubby cutting the wedding cake.

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The newly married couple with Liping's in-laws and the whole entourage.

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Liping and David after the ceremony. May you have a long-lasting, prosperous marriage, filled with bliss, till death do you part.

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Yeah, almost forgot. Liping's new English moniker is Leia. Well, it's Mrs Larabee, if you're nasty!

Okay, by now, some of you would be thinking, hey, it's a new blog update from me in two consecutive days. Yeah, I'm freer and more inspired now, so for those who have always anticipated my blog updates (in Jason's words, my blog is a like a 'freaking reality show'), enjoy it for now, lol.

And for my fellow Muslims, here's another favourite Hari Raya song of mine, sung by my favourite Malay pop music artiste, none other than Siti Nurhaliza (my future wife, hopefully, haha).

An upbeat traditional tune, with that kampung feeling too, always played on the radio, here's...

SESUCI LEBARAN by SITI NURHALIZA

Sesuci... di hening subuh sunyi / Sesuci... terdengar nurani / Seuci... salam untuk Ilahi / Bagaikan memanggil insafi pada diri

Lebaran... terasa kesayuan / Lebaran... takbir bersahutan / Lebaran... memuji keagungan / Bergema suara syukuri nikmat Tuhan

Hiasi diri indah / Riangkan hati gundah / Bersihkan jiwa... sesuci lebaran / Agar sempurna amalan / Berdoalah insan / Di pagi raya / Moga-moga terampun dosa

Pohonlah ampun maaf / Kepada ibu bapa / Sahabat sanak saudara / Sama-sama kita gembira

Bermesra tua muda / Bantulah miskin hina / Menyambut hari mulia / Sama-sama kita gembira

posted at 6:05 p.m.

Thursday, Nov. 20, 2003

Inferiority Intimacy Complex

Hey you, it's me again...well, currently, I'm taking a hiatus from my new job. It's only been 3 weeks but I'm facing a lot of family and personal complications. Requested to take a break, but from the looks of it, most probably I'm calling it a day and looking for other jobs.

Last week, started out on my own, but got sick for a day, so I rested at home only to have quite a earful from my parents. So after thinking things through, spoke to my boss and trainer, told them about my problems and situations and requested to have a hiatus and break.

I don't know, 11 months into the year, and well, things havn't been working out for me. Sometimes I just feel like throwing in the towel, but oh well, I know I can't do that.

Been sorting out things with my parents, the situation is totally complicated, but I'll get through. But I realise some things lately, which I'm not sure whether they're entirely accurate.

I think due to this past year's circumstances what with my job search bad luck, and whatnots, I think I have developed an inferiority complex or at least, I'm approaching that stage. After sorting within myself, the problems and insecurities that I have with my parents and within my family (even with friends), I have come to this conclusion, yes I have an inferiority complex. I feel very inferior now. Inferior to my family, to my friends, to everyone. But is this really inferiority complex rearing its ugly head, or is this just unnecessary paranoia. I'm clueless.

Another thing I realised too. After all these years being the youngest child, spoilt, pampered and given undivided attention by my parents, I'm having some intimacy problems. I'm not sure if I have any intimacy problems with my friends, but of all people, my parents should be the last people that I have this problem with. But there it is, the problem just smacked to my face when I had a row and talk with my parents.

I realise that I find it hard to express my love for them and get uncomfortable getting closer to them. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. This shouldn't be happening. Maybe I'm worried that if I get closer to them, I might...God, why am I thinking of this?! But yeah, it's hard to describe it, and I just realised it, I do have an intimacy problem with them.

Sigh, inferiority complex, paranoia, intimacy problems, it's so fun to be me right now...I seriously think I need to see a shrink!

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Well, all these problems aside, let me share with you some other stuff which are less depressing.

Met up with Kok Yong and Nazrana last Saturday in the evening at Orchard to break fast/dinner. Technically, I was the only one breaking fast, cuz the other two weren't. Couldn't get other people to join us. Was intending to watch movie after that. Me and Kok Yong even went out earlier at 5pm to buy movie tickets for The Human Stain, starring Nicole Kidman and Sir Anthony Hopkins, but they were sold out at Lido. Yes, 5 pm is not early considering it was a Saturday, and an R(A) show in the fasting month, well, don't get me started on that...

Went over to Orchard Cineleisure to try out the tickets for the Korean horror show, Wishing Stairs, but that's sold out too, so by the time Naz met us there, we three decided to just take dinner and then hang out and window-shop.

Broke fast/dinner at the Lucky Plaza 6th floor food court (the one infested with all the mat punks and mat rocks, ugh). That was the second consecutive day for me and Naz cuz we were there the day before for dinner too.

After dinner, we walked around Tangs, and then Metro Paragon and then HMV Heeren before Naz decided to call it a night. Me and Kok Yong then went up to Annex before calling it a night ourselves.

Actually, not that I'm counting, but this is the second time that me, Kok Yong and Naz went out just the three of us. The other time was Sentosa for Kok Yong's birthday last month. Okay, since I'm onto that topic, let's talk about that.

Yeah, anyways, last month, I actually planned to have a birthday picnic for Kok Yong. His birthday was 7 October, but we planned to get everyone to join us celebrate at Sentosa that Saturday, 11 October. However, as usual, one by one like flies, people were backing out left, right and centre. Some couldn't make it at the last minute, others had other priorities and obligations, so it just happened that only me, Kok Yong and Nazrana went for the Sentosa picnic.

Wasn't really a picnic actually, since not everyone was there. Naz wasn't even wearing proper beach clothes, since she came from work and she initially thought that it would be cancelled. But oh well, knowing me and Kok Yong and how much we love to spend time at the Sentosa beaches, we still went ahead with the picnic. The three of us reached Siloso Beach around 2 to 3 odd.

We spread the beach mat that me and Kok Yong bought a few weeks before that at Sentosa. Interestingly, Siloso beach that day was pretty quiet and empty, which was good. Even though there were less bikini babes to see, but the fact that there wasn't much of a crowd made it different.

The afternoon was spent chatting about life, work, girls and other stuff. Naz intended to relax herself and release some pent-up stress then, but I'm not sure whether she did accomplish that. Me and Kok Yong played beach volleyball between ourselves (which is what I call sparring, although I know there should be a better term for that) with the volleyball that we bought at Queensway a few months ago.

Yes, the both of us did invest in the ball and the mat, cuz we love to play beach volleyball, but it's kinda sad that most of our mutual and common friends always can't join us. Oh well, too bad. I've gotten used to playing volleyball with just him only, but of course the more merrier. And anything for my buddy, it was his birthday, so I don't really mind. Although the birthday picnic didn't really turn out anything special or grand, but I hope he had fun, and Naz too. I know I did.

We stayed there till around 7 odd, cuz me and Kok Yong had a long and difficult time finding a good washroom cuz the one we always went to was flooded and full. Poor Naz had to wait for us in the dark on the beach while we scurried back from the washrooms.

Had our dinner at the WTC Interchange Kopitiam, before making our separate ways, around 9 plus. So to recap, that was the first time, Nazrana went out with just me and Kok Yong.

As usual, I do have photos of that afternoon to share with you. Lots of them, all taken using Naz's office digicam...check them out...there are quite a lot, so you might have to wait for everyone of them to load up...

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First off, here we are in the buff, lol. Tarzan and Hercules, but the question is, who is who? Haha, nah, just me (left) and Kok Yong, trying to act garang and macho. Nazrana took this shot after we had played a bit of volleyball sparring. Hey, I look taller than Kok Yong in this picture.

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Kok Yong and Nazrana. Well, if you look behind them, you can see how empty the beach was on that Saturday afternoon...

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I usually am shy taking pictures half-naked, but oh well, who gives a flip now. Me (Shah Rukh Khan) and my Aishwarya Rai *Hahaha, yeah right!*

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Me and Kok Yong once again, our skinny bodies!

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This was what me and Kok Yong did that afternoon, what I call volleyball sparring...

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Me and Naz on the monorail at night. Woaw, look at that shine on my forehead...it's emitting some sort of energy!

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Naz and Kok Yong on the monorail...both looking nonchalant!

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Me and Kok Yong, on the monorail all washed up and tanned (uh, not really!)

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We decided to walk back to mainland by the bridge. This is 3 of us halfway on the bridge, taken by some school kid.

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Naz and Kok Yong on the bridge, hmm, my photography skills quite questionable here, so blur (blame it on the lack of light)

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Another shot of me looking much taller than Kok Yong. Actually I think we're of almost the same height, but I maybe slightly taller by a few centimetres or millimetres, but not like in this picture. And no, I wasn't tip-toeing.

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Me and Naz's turn to take a picture on the bridge. Too darklah, not much scenery in the background.

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Oklah, two final shots. Never took a picture on the NEL train before, so I just have to squeeze these two in...

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Ok, before I go, have to admit I havn't been updating my own blog, let alone, read my friend's blogs. But I did some catching up recently and I came across something. I realise I havn't been talking much about the fasting month, but Mona made me realise, that yes, Hari Raya is coming very soon.

Mona, I was reading through your blog and you were talking about the Hari Raya song by Aishah. Actually if I'm not wrong, the title of that Hari Raya song you were talking about is not Kepulangan. It's titled Pulanglah. And yes, it is also my favourite Hari Raya song of all time. I loved Aishah and I love this song so much.

Very poignant and heartbreaking Hari Raya song. Always look forward to this song being played on the radio around the Hari Raya period. Since I'm feeling festive (well, maybe slightly), I'll be putting up lyrics to my favourite Hari Raya songs everyday, as the day approaches...

As for now, here's for you to sing to...

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Pulanglah by Aishah

( ...Sayang / Di hari yang mulia ini / Ku pohon keampunan / Hanya satu yang ku pinta / Pulanglah... )

Termenung ku sendiri / Memendam rindu tidak menentu / Kasih suci murni yang kita bina / Hapus hancur oleh kata fitnah

Di pagi hari raya / Hati sayu mengenang dirimu / Mudahnya kau menggantikan diriku / Seolah cintaku tak berharga

Apakah suratan / Aidilfitri satu titik akhir / Sekian lama bercinta / Kau tiada di hari mulia

Keampunan ku pohon / Sekiranya aku yang berdosa / Pulanglah ku merindui mu sayang / Ku menanti dengan hati rela

Apakah suratan / Aidilfitri satu titik akhir / Sekian lama bercinta / Kau tiada di hari mulia

Keampunan ku pohon / Sekiranya aku yang berdosa / Pulanglah ku merindui mu sayang / Ku menanti dengan jiwa raga

Pulanglah kepangkuan ku oh... sayang / Ku menunggu mu di hari raya

posted at 3:49 a.m.

Wednesday, Nov. 05, 2003

Re-capping

Just to reply to some people's questions: Yes, I have found a job, but I'm not sure whether I'm doing this permanently. It's got something to do with sales and marketing. The working hours are horrendous, from 1pm (sometimes earlier) to around 11 pm (sometimes even later), and working from Sundays to Fridays, with my Saturdays as my off day. But yeah, still undergoing training, it's totally performance-based. I'm still surviving, although, I'm still looking out for better and more relevant jobs. But I'll make do with this at the moment, and put my 100% in it. At least I have a job now, that's all that matters. Everything else is secondary...

I accepted the job despite people's and my own doubts, cuz seriously, I've got nothing to lose. It's not as if job offers are falling down to my laps every minute, so I'm just taking this as an opportunity for me to explore and see how far I can go with this job. And I believe I can definitely learn some stuff from this, even if I can't make it far, there's always something to learn, especially in the business aspects..

Well, enough talking about my work, not really my favourite topic at the moment, considering I'm seeing most of my friends, getting relatively good jobs where they are doing stuff that are really relevant and related to what they studied in uni/poly, while I'm still out of luck. And they enjoy doing their jobs, on top of getting quite okay money with it.

Still I don't get it, they don't know just how fortunate they are. To be doing what they really love to do. Yet, left and right, I see people complaining about how they don't like the working hours lah, the job stress lah, whatever. Well, you know what, I'd gladly trade shoes with you, if you're suffering so much. Just quit whining and instead, be grateful to God for looking out for you in these uncertain times. But then again, everyone's entitled to their own opinions. I guess humans can never be satisfied.

Okay, it's photo time again, I just can't resist, cuz I've got so much to share here (but as if people actually care to check them out, lol).

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Taken after the convo ceremony, while we were savouring the "refreshments". Back row from left, Jocelyn, Nazrana, Natalie, Elizabeth and Adeline. Front row, squatting from left, me and Kok Yong.

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From left, me , Liz and Kok Yong.

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These two photos are taken during my convocation at SIM, 29th August 2003. This day was supposed to be a big day for me, but all along, months approaching the actual date, I was already not looking forward to it. And looking back, I guess I knew why I was feeling that way, cuz I had a feeling something would screw up on that day.

Here's the story: Had three tickets for guests to watch me get my cert and wear my convo gown. Obviously the tickets were for my parents and the extra ticket for my third sister. On that morning, my feelings towards the convo changed a bit. I started getting nervous and looked forward to it. Cuz the most important people in my life would be witnessing it. But alas that didn't happen.

When I was putting on the gown and fixing the mortar board on my head, I got a phonecall from my sister who was supposed to attend the ceremony. She was still at home and told me that my mother had collapsed while praying. But she was alright, she just had some gastric pains related to her diabetes and needed some rest, and that both my parents would not be attending my convo. And that my sis was unsure who exactly will be attending in their place.

At that instant, I had a rush of mixed emotions. I was kinda selfishly upset. I really wanted my parents to share this special occasion, and was slightly angry that my mother had to fall sick and collapse. But I also felt guilty for feeling that way, for being so self-centred. And I was kinda blaming myself, for being such a burden for my parents.

At that moment too, I started remembering how my mother also missed my flight to Taiwan during my NS. I was sent there for my ASLC training for 3 weeks, and knowing that I would be there for quite long, I was hoping my mother would see me off at the airport. She was planning to, until she fell sick and left just me, with my father and brother sending me off in the wee hours in the morning. And at that time I got upset, cuz I really wanted her at the airport, cuz I didn't want to miss her when I was in Taiwan (yes, my mother is my life, and I'm pampered and attached to her in that way). Also, although I hate sad goodbyes, I also hate not being able to say goodbye.

Anyway, back to my convo, yes, I was upset that my parents couldn't attend my convo, especially my mother. I totally felt helpless at that time. I didn't know who would be attending my convo, and there was a possibility that none of my family members would come in their place. So I contemplated skipping the convo, cuz I felt no point in attending the ceremony with none of my family members to witness it. I informed my SIM gang about my mother's plight and they were mostly sympathetic about the situation. But then again, I didn't wanna bother them about it, cuz it's their day too and they deserved to graduate in the convo ceremony peacefully.

While talking to them, I was kinda holding myself back (holding back my emotions and disappointment), and some tried to comfort me. But honestly, the last place I wanna be was at the convo. I really didn't see any point staying, cuz my mother was sick and I wanted to go home to see her. But then they told me to take it easy and go through the convo without worries. That's when my third sister and brother (who sponsored my entire university studies) called me to inform me that they were coming. So my mood changed slightly. I still would have felt better if my parents were there, but there was no choice, my mother was sick.

So the convo went on smoothly, but as most convos are, it was a total bore. My brother filmed the entire convo on my father's viewcam. He also filmed me and my SIM gang while we were having our refreshments at the end of the ceremony. That's when we took those two photos. If I'm not wrong, they are from Nazrana's and Liz's cameras. I only have my viewcam footage of the convo. Didn't have a camera, could have taken more shots.

I left SIM earlier than the rest. We were planning to head out and celebrate our convo after the ceremony at night, but everyone had a change of plans. Plus my brother wanted to leave the place as early as possible, so we headed home first.

Anyway, below are two photos of my SIM gang, taken around 10 months before the convo, last year. Just wanted to share and see how different we look, although we didn't really look that different.

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Taken in campus, outside our lecture theatre, the Ityles/SIM gang, back row from left, Jocelyn, Adeline, me and Kok Yong. Front row from left, Liz, Naz, Nat and Liping.

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Another photo, this time, minus Jocelyn and Adeline, who was actually from the previous batch, and only joined our class for one module, which they had to re-take.

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Okay, that was a recap of my late August convo shenanigins, let's fast-forward to September. Hmm, what happened in September, honestly I can't remember, I was still bumming, so everyday was the same, and the only significant things then that I can remember is celebrating birthdays of our September babies, Susan and Sha. I'm sure I did other stuff in September, but my mind is blank right now.

Anyways, we sorta celebrated both girls' birthdays at Devil's Bar. And celebrated again on Sha's actual birthdate at RetroMusic Cafe. Spent the night, laughing our asses off, talking dirty, playing Scrabble, when the Moonies decided to bestow the title Monica and Ross Geller on me, for my annoying ultra competitiveness, wait was it just one of the characters, or both? Oh well, whatever, lol, it's fun to be competitve in games.

Anyways, havn't shared these photos on my blog, this is courtesy of Sha's new Polaroid...

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The gang, from left, regardless of back row or front row, Lauren, May Theng, me, Sha, Mona, Jason and Susan.

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And last photo for the night, me and Birthday Girl for that night, Sha. Wait a minute, that has gotta be my most 'Mat' t-shirt I have, ugh!

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Oh well, till the next photo updates, take care everyone!

posted at 2:10 a.m.

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