Wednesday, Oct. 22, 2003

Outdoor Fiasco

Okay, time for more updates...

Sorry that I'm like recapping things that have already happened a few months ago, when I should be talking about my life right now.

But although it's been a few days since my bday, I'm still on a high (and no, I'm not on crack, nor pot, nor opium, pick your choice). I'm just on a photo-posting high, lol.

And yeah, I'll get to my "now" once I finish talking about my "then". And besides, I don't want to keep some people waiting.

Another long overdue batch of photos. This was the outdoor graduation photoshoot that I took with the Ityles/SIM gang (minus Liping, who at this time was already in NJ, and Nat, who totally had to miss this cuz of church).

Susan and some other Moonies also wanted to see some more of the photos so as to judge whether they're of good quality so that they can hire the same company.

Can't remember the actual date when we did this photoshoot, but it was on a hot Sunday late afternoon, and going around City Hall and then to Esplanade and Millennia Walk in that heavy uncomfortable garb was no joke. We were all perspiring underneath our shirts. Our RMIT convo gowns use a thicker and nicer material than the ones used by NUS or NTU students, but they were really unbearable. But since we have already paid money for it, might as well just put a positive spin on things and gave our best poses, lol. So we had to endure that 4 hours, walking around acting like Harry Potter. It was fun, but then again, I would have preferred an indoor aircon shoot.

Long story, but I kinda had a mix of emotions. Enjoyed myself taking photos with Nazrana, Kok Yong and Elizabeth, all acting studious and cheeky at the same time for the camera, but at that time, someone who was supposed to be present for a short while, didn't. That incident made my blood boil for awhile, but oh well, like I said, long story.

In the end the photographer, took almost 140 photos in that four hours. However, of course, I don't intend to post every single one of them here. But here are some that I don't mind sharing. If you would only bear with me...

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From left, Nazrana, Liz, Kok Yong and me, sitting on a ledge in front of the Supreme Court. The close-up photo of myself that I posted in an earlier entry was actually cropped out of this one.

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Part of the package of the photoshoot was that each of us got to choose one photo to be blown up to Table-top 8R. So I chose, this, cuz well, personally, my other solo photos look quite crappy, not saying that this is not crappy either, but at least this is the best I've got, and people say I look like a lawyer in it (dream on, Ismail)

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Another solo picture, this time full body shot, complete with mortar board (and red scroll, which was actually Ngee Ann Poly's one, for show only). I was choosing between this photo and the above one for the 8R Table-top, but I don't really like this one cuz I look even weirder with the mortar board on, and I have that "I've had enough of this stupid ensemble" look on my face, ugh!

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Well, there we are, the four of us, on the grass. We wanted to take a shot of us lazing or posing on grass, so this was it. I had that nonchalant look again.

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I like this picture a lot, don't know why. I think cuz of the Esplanade Durian above us in the background and cuz we all look so relaxed in the photo. Aww, look at Naz and Liz, so sweet and lovey-dovey...

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This is taken almost towards the end of the shoot when it was getting dark. That explains our tired faces...

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At the end of the photoshoot at Millennia Walk, pretending to throw our mortar boards up in the air, since we know that we won't be doing that on our real convo day...

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Ok, time for duo pictures...me and Nazrana, people say we look like a couple in here, haha. But I think our fuschia sash on our gown seems to blend in with the pink flowers at the back. Taken on the Esplanade expressway bridge...

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This is me and Kok Yong, in front of Supreme Court. We both look more like we just graduated from Hogwarts School of Wizardry & Witchcraft. I'm OBVIOUSLY from Gryffindor. Kok Yong? Oklah, give him chance, he's from the very obscure Hufflepuff, lol.

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Finally, me and Liz. Sitting on the grass, both of us trying our best to give our best Bollywood movie look, but I think we both look very sleepy in the picture. What do you expect, 4 hours in that costume, nightmare I tell ya!

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Okaylah till the next photo updates, it's sleep time for me now.

posted at 2:52 a.m.

Sunday, Oct. 19, 2003

Fulfilling Promises...

Okay, this is way way way long overdue. I have promised some people, (ok, fine, fine, I'll say it out loud, I promised Nazrana, Nazrana and wait a minute Nazrana too, oh and also Liping) to post some photos that we have taken over the past few months. But due to my inactivity, in the blogging world, I havn't been fulfilling their wishes. So guys, brace yourselves, cuz, most probably in the next few entries, there'll be an onslaught of catastrophic proportions (and I wasn't referring to anyone's boobs). Yes, I'll be posting some photos of the various activities these past few months.

First up, yes, very long overdue, are the Bintan photos. Went there with the Ityles gang (me, Kok Yong, Liz, Naz and Liping) back in July. Those were three of the best days of my life, vacation-wise. We had so much fun, escaping away from Singapore. The trip almost didn't happen. Cuz it was so hard to coordinate everyone's schedules, and our intention of going there in May had to be postponed because of the SARS crisis. But I'm really proud and happy that we finally made it there...

We talked dirty (we are a really perverted bunch, but wait a minute, all of my friends are dirty minded, yes, I'm referring to you Moonies too), swam dirty (what with all the exfoliating the girls, with Liz as the mother hen, were having with the sand from the Bintan seashore), played dirty (well, mostly Nazrana, she's such a skillful LIAR in the bluff gang) and felt dirty (from the massage oils that me, Liping and Kok Yong got all over our body from the spa massage that we went to).

But I really really really enjoyed myself there, didn't wanna come back, but oh well, it's been 3 mths since then, and I miss the botanical moments, the sneaking into the other resort's swimming pool, and loads of other stuff that we did. Sigh...

Anyways, here are some photos taken over there...

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Front row, from left, Liping, Liz and me. Back row, from left, Naz and Kok Yong. This was taken at Pasar Oleh-Oleh, I think on the last day.

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With Naz behind the camera, we took this picture more specifically because of the broken english displayed on the signboard, "Dear Our Guests", hahahaha! From left, me, Liz, Kok Yong and Liping...

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Okay, this was apparently our favourite group picture from the trip. Lol, our photos are limited, cuz I was the only one who brought a camera AND videocamera, sheesh! From left, Kok Yong, Liping, Naz, Liz and me...

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Meanwhile, this one was taken on the last night, while waiting for our bus to the ferry terminal and presenting a farewell brownie for Liping. Everyone was tired and Nazrana was nauseous, and from how Liping and Kok Yong looked, well, they looked sleepy (either that or the person taking this photo for us was lousy).

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And finally, since I have put the duo photos I took with Liz, Naz and Liping at Bintan already in an earlier entry, this one is a duo photo of me and Kok Yong, on second night, before we all took our dinner. Hmm, I think I've taken too many photos with that dark navy blue Surfers' Paradise t-shirt. Time to get new t-shirts...if only I have the moolah...

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Okay, that's it for now, stay tuned maybe later for more photo updates...I'm on a birthday high...leave me alone, lol.

posted at 11:41 p.m.

Friday, Oct. 17, 2003

Love's a Bitch...

Her birthday was on the past Sunday. I thought of wishing her well, but you know what, somehow I just couldn't be bothered to wish her anything or feel anything.

I guess it's been like more than 2 weeks since everything is over between us, but I still have some bitterness in me. Thanks for restoring my faith in love and lifting me sky-high. But then again , thanks also for making me lose faith in love and pushing me to back rock bottom. For "using" me, misleading me, and whatever it is that you did. Although I havn't been updating this blog, much less reveal anything about my frustrations and my utter disappointment over the situation, however, I did confide in some friends and anyone else who cared to give a listening ear.

But then again, you admitted to me that you were a bitch for whatever you did, and I have to agree, not only for you, but girls in general. Remind me again, why this is so true.

We men are jerks, but most of the time, when we do terrible, nasty, unforgiving stuff, we are unaware of it, cuz we are less emotional and sensitive and the "listen to brain more than heart" gender, but girls are terrible bitches cuz not only do they do terrible, nasty and downright unforgiving stuff to people, but they are fully aware of it, aware of the pain and hurt that they cause and do such things with the intention of hurting the other person. Sensitivity be damned. Oh well, life's a bitch, but it's more cuz of women bitches who are walking on the face of the earth that are elevating this 'life's a bitch' factor.

I'm not woman-bashing in general cuz, to quote someone, "I love girls to death", but I guess I've had my share of bitches using me to pacify their lonely longing hearts. And when I'm no longer of beneficial use, they just throw me aside. Someone said that not all women are like that, just the ones that I got involved with. Oh well, this still disgusts me.

My gal-friends I care and adore (and this women-bashing is not targetted at any of you, although, we all should agree, that you guys sure do have your occasional bitchy streaks ;-)), but it's just girls in general. Oh well, whatever, it's back to the old 'Vagina Embargo' policy for me. Well, at least until I'm ready and found the right one.

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Upon knowing my plight, Nazrana sent me a sweet email, which I think is touching and meaningful, but then again, my faith in love has been shattered somewhat slightly, but still I'd like to share this with you...and this might be more touching for you heartbroken and 'pining-for-love' girls out there...

Forwaded email courtesy of Nazrana:

If you love some one because you think that he or she is really gorgeous.... then it's not love .. it's ~* Infatuation *~

If you love some one because you think that you shouldn't leave him because others think that you shouldn't ... then it's not love.. it's ~*Compromise*~

If you love some one because you have been kissed by him ... then it's not love.. it's ~* Inferiority complex*~

If you love some one because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings ... then it's not love .. it's ~*Charity*~

If you love some one because you share every thing with him ... then it's not love... it's ~*Friendship*~

But if you feel the pain of the other person more than him even when he is stable and you cry for him ... that's ~*LOVE*~

If you get attracted to other people but stay with him without any regrets... that's ~*LOVE*~

If you let him go knowing that he has to go but he doesn't want to...that's ~*LOVE*~

LOVE IS WHEN u wake up, he is already on ur mind

LOVE IS WHEN u lost ur heart, he is all that u can find

LOVE IS WHEN u want 2 be the 1 to dry his eyes

LOVE IS WHEN u see the truth in every 1 of his lies

LOVE IS WHEN u want 2 listen 2 all his whims and woes,

LOVE IS WHEN u want him 2 take care everywhere he goes.

LOVE IS WHEN he calls u, ur heart goes a flutter.....

LOVE IS WHEN u see him; "I LOVE HIM", u silently shudder

LOVE IS WHEN u tell the world that u love him so

LOVE IS WHEN u have told the world but "HE" does not know

LOVE IS WHEN ur eyes light up when u see him there...

LOVE IS ALSO WHEN u hear ur heart breaks,when he held hands with"her"

LOVE IS ALSO WHEN u crumbled inside when they say it will LAST FOREVER

LOVE IS ALSO WHEN u cry inside yet smile outside when they say "HI" 2 u

LOVE IS ALSO WHEN u held ur breath & said:"How do u do..?"

LOVE IS ALSO WHEN u let him go...u know he is happy now

LOVE IS ALSO WHEN u know u`ll get over him somehow

LOVE IS ALSO WHEN his happiness is what matters 2 u

LOVE IS ALSO WHEN u let him love her... and not love u true.

LOVE IS WHEN u`ll still love him..and still..he`ll never know...

LOVE IS WHEN u`ll swallow thw pain and slowly let go...

yet... love is a funny thing...

LOVE IS WHEN u smile when u hear its "him&her" no more.....

LOVE IS WHEN u hear he sent her through the door

LOVE IS WHEN u try 2 "BUMP" into him again...

LOVE IS WHEN he`ll say "HI" 2 u & there is no more pain.

LOVE IS SUDDENLY REAL LOVE when he says he loves u too

LOVE IS SUDDENLY RAEL LOVE when his life revolves around u

LOVE IS SUDDENLY REAL LOVE when he says, he has always loved u but he didn`t dare,

LOVE IS SUDDENLY REAL LOVE when he says, he always loved u but thought u didn`t care,

LOVE IS SUDDENLY REAL LOVE when now it`s all coming true

LOVE IS SUDDENLY REAL LOVE when u love him and he loves u.....

LOVE IS SUDDENLY REAL LOVE when now ur life is nearly complete

LOVE IS SUDDENLY REAL LOVE when everyday its him u meet.

LOVE IS SUDDENLY REAL LOVE when ur frnds accept him too

LOVE IS SUDDENLY REAL LOVE when u can have time for them & him & u

LOVE is a of many splendoured things...and a really complex feeling so when u love someone...just tell him...or her...u`ll never know how it`ll turn out...1 way or the other, tell him before he is gone...tell her before she is taken...

CONFESS..CONFESS.. AT THE RIGHT TIME.. WHAT`S THERE TO LOSE... WHEN PRIDE AND EGO IS FORSAKEN U MIGHT NEVER KNOW... HE MIGHT LOVE U TOO. SHE OR HE, MIGHT FEEL THE SAME WAY FOR U...

SO ALL U GUYZ AND GALS, FORGET THE EGO`S, DON`T B SHY & SAY: "I LOVE U" BEFORE IT`S TOO LATE!!!!!! BELIEVE ME ITS HARD WHEN U LOSE THE ONE U LOVE JUST BECAUSE U DIDN`T CONFESS AT THE RIGHT TIME. BE HAPPY.

*Whatever, love be damned!*

posted at 8:17 p.m.

Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003

Catching Up...

I don't want to say the obvious, but okay fine, I'll say it, I havn't been updating this much. But oh well, life goes on...

Anyway, if I were to recap everything that happened to me in detail the past few months when I had stopped updating, it will take forever. In short, I'm still unemployed, but of course I'm still trying my very best. Still sending out resumes and hope, and taking up some freelance videographing work, but still under training. Oh well, still praying too, that my luck will turn around...

Went to Sentosa with Kok Yong on Saturday. Was planning to just chill on the beach, sit around, look at bikini babes and maybe get a tan (not for me, for Kok Yong), but since it was raining and drizzling like non-stop, we didn't really sit by the beach. Instead we went to one of the tall huts at the southern-most point of Asia at Palawan Beach, sought shelter there, and just sat there talking cock. Discussing and sharing stuff, well, the usual buddy, male bonding kind. It's been awhile since I did this, just hang out with Kok Yong. Well, he's been busy with his job and OT, so I'm just accompanying him wind down after his busy work week.

The beach was wet. He wanted to watch Swimming Pool, but we realised we wouldn't be able to catch any evening shows, in the end he came over to my place to watch Chelsea vs Wolves match. Went with him to my neighbourhood Singapore Turf Club outlet to bet on that match, but he decided against it at the last minute. What a waste. Chelsea trashed Wolves, so if he had bet on Chelsea winning or some combination along those lines, he would have earned some money, lol.

On Tuesday, I finally went to watch with Nazmi, Pirates of The Caribbean at GV Plaza. This was his second time watching, but he didn't mind. I also havn't seen him for quite awhile, since he was busy with work too. Passed him the Marlboro hardpack ciggies I bought for him as souvenir when I was at Pahang a few weeks ago.

The movie is damn good, very enjoyable. The last show I watched was S.W.A.T. with Liz and Nazrana. That was a good show too. But Pirates was very fun to watch and I love this kind of adventure stories. Reminds me of my childhood playing pirates with my neighbour (haha, wait a minute, I didn't play Pirates, I played Cops & Thieves).

Had dinner with Nazmi at McDonald's. I didn't realise McDonald's have changed their Chicken McCrispy to something else now, I forgot the name...anyways, still taste the same. After that, went over to HMV to quench my cravings for CDs and DVDs. No, I didn't buy any, just scanned for the new stuff that I really want to get soon, if only I have the money...

Anyways, I realise in my recent months' absence, I have missed out on dedicating birthday wishes for my friends on here. The last friend I wished so was May Theng, back in May. No doubt, I still celebrated their birthdays with them and wished them well there and then, but didn't get the chance to express my wishes over here...so to commemorate that, here are some photos I wanna share, that I took individually with each of them...

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Taken at Bintan in July, to Elizabeth for her 23rd Birthday on 2nd Aug, Happy Belated Bithday Lizzie Super Bitch! :-D

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Taken at Pasir Costa Sands eons ago, to Jason, for his 23rd Birthday on 6 Aug, Happy Belated Birthday Buddy!

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Taken at Bintan too, to Nazrana for her 23rd Birthday on 7th Aug, Happy Belated Birthday Naz Mega Bitch! :-D

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Taken during our polytechnic Graduation Prom, to Susan, for her 23rd Birthday on 10 Sep, Happy Belated Birthday Beamie!

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Taken with Sha on a bus during our 2nd chalet in Pasir Ris eons ago too, to Sha, for her 23rd Birthday on 16 Sep, Happy Birthday Babe! *Note: look at my eyes, so big and eh, I look like macam I have square jaw, haha*

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And lastly, taken at Bintan. Liping I really miss you so much girl. Words can't explain. I hope you're having a great life over there, and always remember, that, you are still in our hearts, girl. To Liping, sorry if this is late, but still, Congratulations on your wedding and hope you are safe, healthy, prosperous and most importantly, happy over there, with your hubby, David Larabee...and hope the Ityles gang can meet up with you soon...

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And lastly to end off this *highly overdue and much anticipated* blog (Mona's words, not mine), this is a photo taken during my RMIT University outdoor graduation photoshoot at Supreme Court. I did enjoy that photoshoot, as you can see from my smile. Although a few things cock up and some people's absence there was dearly missed, but of course, I had to smile for the cameras. But beneath that smile, lies so many insecurities and worries. But still, I wish I will smile very widely soon, please pray for me...

posted at 4:18 a.m.

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