Monday, Jul. 28, 2003

6 'N's

I know it's been 1 mth plus since I update this diary. And a lot of things, happy and sad, have happened during this period. They come and go, but I'm still here, stagnant. Sorry to keep anyone waiting and disappointed checking this page to see nothing updated.

I can't really pinpoint why exactly I have not been updating this page. I guess it has come to the point whereby it's become unbearable to recollect my daily ongoings, and writing and reading them hasn't helped cuz every day is the same old shit, no progress. That's cuz I feel it really sucks to be me right now.

It's almost 8 mths into this year, since I finished NS, and 2 mths since I finished uni, but still my butt is still stuck at the same place, more than ever. This year has most probably been the suckiest and unluckiest year of my life. I've tried my darnest to turn my luck around, but to no avail. People always say that things can only get better, but when the fuck will that be?

I'm at rock bottom now, I'm at the lowest of my lows. Nothing anyone does can really fully cheer me up. Nothing.

Most people at 23, would have at least half of the five 'C's. But I have none of that.

Instead I have the 6 'N's. NO JOB, NO MONEY, NO LIFE, NO MOOD, NO FUTURE and lastly, I'm a NOBODY.

I wish I can go back to being 4 or 5. No worries or much thoughts about my life or the future, just a smile on my face.

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The way things are, I'm not sure when I will update this blog again, maybe until one those 6 'N's dissipate one by one.

But as for now, I would like to wallow in this pathetic life of mine, and be a hermit for awhile.

Goodbye world.

posted at 5:12 p.m.

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